fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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