She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I currently don't understand fingers.
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