how can u be prego again
Pappa wants mamma naked
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
