so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
