She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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