I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
