have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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