I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Randomize
