she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
