i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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