i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He passed out mid-signature
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
