There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
