Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
