There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
May the power of my ass compel you!!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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