We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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