this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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