and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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