Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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