can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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