Soap is not a condiment
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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