Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
