Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize