I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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