PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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