We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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