all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
