Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
