i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
