Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
