I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize