i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
