K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
