In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
