fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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