So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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