It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
