lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
ugly people sure do ruin things
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
