My balls are so social today.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
