Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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