i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
