To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
