i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
