Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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