she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
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He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
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Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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