smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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