He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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