Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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