I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
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