I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
