you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
