I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
