One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
FUCK WHALES
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
