I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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