I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
