Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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