It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The adults are the big ones right?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
