So drunk, too bad you don't want this
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
