i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
