did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So many bounce houses so little time
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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