Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
