It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
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He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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