Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have fence marks all over my body
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize