your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
