I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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