Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
