why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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