Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize