textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize