There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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