Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
