i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
